10 things you should never say to kids

Children are becoming increasingly sensitive and express their personal ego soon. You have read many documents that advise against comparing children with other babies or with siblings in the house because the opposite effect causes the child to be under pressure, or they will hate the person being compared. However, apart from the saying, "I want you to be like your sister," the following 10 statements are just as dangerous.

Tell your child: "You're very good!"

Studies have shown that say a generic phrase like "Good job!" Every time your child learns a skill that makes them try hard for your affirmation, not their own motivation. Praise your children when really necessary and as specific as possible. Instead of saying, "You played well!", Say, "You passed the ball beautifully. I love the way you pass the ball to your teammates ”.

Has iron grinding makes perfect!

It is true that spending more time practicing, your skills will become more mature. However, this proverb can put pressure on your child to feel like winning or succeeding for you. It sends a message that if you do it wrong, it's because you haven't worked hard. At that time, the children may wonder, “What's wrong with me? I've been practicing continuously and I'm still not the best ”. Instead, encourage your child to work hard as they improve and feel proud of their progress.

I'm okay!

When your baby has a scratchy knee and cries, you can instinctively try to reassure him that he or she is not seriously injured. But saying that may only make your child feel worse. Your baby is crying because he is not feeling well. Help your child understand and deal with their feelings, not ignore them. Try hugging and acknowledging the feelings they have by saying something like, "Where are you going to fall?". Then ask if your child wants a bandage or a cheek kiss (or both).

"Hurry up!"

Your child eats late in the morning, but still insists on tying his shoes (though he doesn't know how to tie his shoes yet) and may be late for school again. But urging your child to just create more tension. Instead, gently tell your child, "Let's hurry up, baby" will send the message that you are on the same side. You can also turn the preparatory action into a game: "Why don't we race to see who can get your pants first?".

Mom is on a diet!

You should keep your weight in mind. If your baby sees you gaining weight every day and hears you complaining about his weight, he can imagine an unhealthy body. You better say, "I'm eating healthy because that makes me feel better."

You should say the same thing as with exercise. "You need to go to the gym" sounds like a tiring imperative, but the saying: 'It's beautiful outside! I want to walk ”will be able to inspire you to participate.

"We can't buy that" or "I'm out of money"

This is your usual response when your child asks you to purchase the newest toy. However, according to Jayne Pearl, author of the book Kids and Money, doing so sends the message to your child that you have no control over your finances, which can make your baby nervous. Your baby can also imitate this saying if you use the money to buy an expensive household item.

You should use other ways to convey similar ideas, such as: "We're not going to buy because we're saving money on more important things." If your child insists on repeating this over and over again, you have the perfect opportunity to start a conversation about how to manage budgets and money.

Don't talk to strangers!

This is a confusing statement for children. Even with an unfamiliar person, your child may not think of the person as a stranger if they treat them well. In addition, children may misunderstand this principle and oppose the help of police or firefighters - people they don't know. Instead of warning you about strangers, create scripts (eg, “What would I do if a man I don't know gives the candy and drives me home?”) For your child to explain. what they will do, then direct your child to act right. Since most child abduction cases involve someone the child already knows, you can also tell your child: “If anyone makes you feel sad, scared, or confused, I need to tell you right away ”.

Be careful!

If you say that while your baby is climbing on the beams in the playground it will most likely cause him to fall later because it distracts your child from what they are doing. If you feel anxious, move closer to where your child plays. In the event of a sudden fall, be calm and gentle with your baby.

You won't be able to eat dessert unless you finish the rice!

In this way you decrease the value of the main meal and increase the value of the snack, as opposed to what you want. Change your way of saying to your children: "First, let's eat rice and then let's have dessert." This subtle word change has a more positive impact on your baby.

Let me help you!

When your child is having trouble building a cube tower or completing a puzzle, you will probably naturally want to help your child. You should not do that. If you help your child too early, it can decrease their independence as your child will always seek help from others in times of trouble. Instead, ask guiding questions that will help your child solve the problem: “Do you think large pieces or small pieces should be underneath? Why do you think so? Please try it. "