How can pampering parents affect their children?

As a parent, everyone will love their children to their fullest and sometimes over-indulge their children. This is a bad habit and sometimes leads to negative psychological consequences for the baby. Loving your children is one thing, but you also need to know how to love your children in an intelligent way.

Have you ever wondered if you are too pampering or just use the excuse that because your baby is young, you need to be gentle? In fact, sometimes a few punishments or scolding will help children get into order and learn to control themselves.

1. What is pampering child like?

Parents pampering their children will often respond to all requests, always praising the talent and goodness of the baby. However, they rarely ask their children to do anything, nor are they disciplined and lack the practice of self-regulation habits of children when they were young. You can understand better with the following examples:

Example 1: You are at a store or supermarket, your child wants to eat ice cream while he eats 2 plants today. You did not want your child to be sad so agreed and said: "You are very good today, so I will buy you another ice cream."

Example 2 : You do not stipulate time to play, study and sleep for your child. Even if you know your child has to wake up early the next day to go to school, you don't remind him to go to bed early.

Example 3: You are saving money to buy a cell phone for yourself, but your child is interested in a game console. Your child does not listen to you or does not understand that you need a phone. So, you prioritize what they want and buy whatever they want.

Example 4: Remind your child to study because the exam is coming, but he / she has an appointment to go out in the next 2 days. You do not support but do not prevent your child from hanging out and delaying learning.

Example 5: You say,  “Can you pack up the toys after playing? Oh I don't need to move if I'm too tired ”.

So are you a parent to pamper your child like that?

2. Characteristics of pampering parents

Some of the traits of pampering and permissive parents might be:

Unlimited love and praise

Support unconditionally, according to the wishes of the child, ask little for anything

More like your friends than your parents

Does not require discipline, specific schedule with children

Avoid arguing with your children

Wanting to be loved by your baby instead of making him sad

No control over the child

Do not show the consequences of your behavior

There is no schedule for your child or there but is often missed because of your child's wishes

Seduce your child to do something with rewards

Cover too much child

Give your baby toys and gifts for good behavior

Give your child more freedom than a responsible subset .

3. Influence on children when being pampered by parents

You will probably love adult pampering as well as being given a lot of freedom and no strings attached but in the long run it has a negative impact. Here are the effects that affect the baby:

Emotional deficiency

Oppose when a child's wishes are not met

Don't know self-control or self-control

Difficult to follow the rules or regulations

Lack of discipline, becoming selfish and resisting power

Lack of responsibility for your behavior

Research shows a link between pampering parents and adolescent's physical and behavioral disorders.

Children are selfish and have high desires, do not like to share

Children lack confidence

Lack of social skills.

If parents pamper their children, they will do more harm to the baby than good. However, there are certain benefits to this as well.

4. Advantages and disadvantages when pampering children

Benefit

Because you pamper your baby, you will create a feeling that your baby is the center, giving them more care than themselves, so they will understand children better, and the connection between parents and children will increase. Here are the benefits of this action:

Better nurture and love: Parents always put their children first and can do many things to make them happy. This may be due to the fact that they experienced poor family relationships in their childhood and wanted their children to not have the same experience.

Avoid conflicts with children: Because parents do not want to upset the little angel, they often satisfy the baby's request. So parents usually won't argue and the parent-child relationship is always peaceful.

Children have a lot of creativity: Parents always give their children unlimited and free space so they can freely explore and express their own creativity.

Limit

Anything too much has the opposite effect. Giving your child too much pampering will harm them. Find out the negatives and limitations that your child will experience if you indulge them:

Conflict between needs and wants: As children get older, they will ask for more. As a parent, you need to decide what is right and right for your child. A tolerant parent will not want their child to be sad so they will usually fulfill all of their requirements, making it difficult to determine what is needed and not needed for the child.

Lack of time management: Without rules and regulations at home, children won't learn the value of time. They will be lazy and spend time watching movies or playing games for long periods of time.

Without parental control: When parents are too easy on their own, children become their own parents because they can make decisions for themselves. You will find that the parents do not want them to be sad so they will overdo it with them.

Emotional imbalance:  Children cannot regulate or control their own emotions, especially when their needs are not being met.

Lack of discipline: Parents pampering their children will cause them to lose discipline because they are not taught this from a young age.

These harms will have long-term effects on the child's psychology.

5. Influence when parents pamper their children

Children love to be free, but when they take advantage of it inappropriately or without limits, the harm can be minimal. The behavioral disorders in children when pampered by parents are:

Picking up copper:  Your baby will handle everything in a hurry without thinking. Moreover, I also refuse to accept responsibility for my actions.

Bullying: Since there are usually no rules at home, they won't be afraid of being punished. This makes them love to bully others in school and often break the rules at school or other public places.

Behavioral Disorders: Parents will often see naughty behaviors as signs of childhood. Therefore, children will gradually mature without being responsible for anything and it is difficult to recognize their own mistakes.

Bad performance at school: Research shows that pampering is linked to poor performance at school. Many parents are less demanding in their babies so they have no goals to strive for.

Indecision: When important decisions need to be made regarding career or life issues, they can become vulnerable because they have never been in this situation before. You are too protective and protective for your child, making them not brave enough to cope with difficulties in life.

Offensive behavior: These kids don't know how to accept it because they haven't done this before. Children cannot silence or control themselves against negative social reactions and become aggressive and aggressive when faced with obstacles.

Lack of social skills: When parents do not teach their children correct behaviors, children will lack many social skills such as sharing, caring and understanding.

Unusual emotion: One of the common misunderstandings of pampering parents is that they are afraid of hurting and saddening their babies. Therefore, they will satisfy all of the baby's requirements to show love.

6. What should you do if you are too pampering?

If you admit yourself to be pampering and you want to change your behavior now, it's not too late. It's time to incorporate the following plans and incorporate them into your everyday lifestyle to gradually change things:

Make family rules: You need to let your child know your requirements by letting them know the necessary rules.

Show your child the consequences: In order for your child to effectively follow the rules you have set, you need to let your child know the punishments and consequences of disobedience. You can give a few simple or difficult punishments depending on the child's wrongdoing.

Be persistent: This will be a challenge for many parents, especially when they are too easy on their children. Be consistent with your child's mistakes but still love them. Let your child know the importance of obedience and always give appropriate punishment when he makes a mistake.

Reward: When your child obeys and does it right, reward him. This will motivate your child to have better behaviors.

There's nothing wrong with giving your kids the best, but it's important to have limits. You also ask your child when you meet his / her wishes. These things help children be more responsible, because they know it takes effort to get what they want.