When your baby has a fight or especially a fight with others, parents immediately ask him to apologize. But most of the babies are resisting in the uneasy persuasion of their parents.
According to psychologists, forcing a child to apologize does more harm than good. Because if you really try to ask your baby how he feels, he will tell you this is ridiculous.
“I'm feeling angry. I hate to apologize. Parents do that makes me feel more upset ”.
“I don't like hearing you apologize because my parents asked me to do it, not honestly I wanted to. This just pisses me off even more ”.
"Apologizing if you're not really sincere, it's like lying."
Forcing your child to apologize is not only a wrong lesson, it doesn't really solve the problem. Decades of research on romantic relationships in love have also shown that when a couple feels compelled to apologize to the other first, words don't improve the relationship either. Parenting psychologists believe that the same is true for children when they say sorry to friends and siblings.
What should you teach your children instead?
If you choose to help children express their wants and needs, listen to them, and reinterpret what they hear from your siblings. Children will begin to heal the conflict on a deeper level. As a result, apology often becomes almost unnecessary.
If your child asks to apologize, respect his or her opinion. If they still seem upset, ask your child to apologize again when they are truly sincere. You can say something similar to your child: I am not asking you to say things that are not true because according to me, it does not make others calm down.
This does not mean forcing your child to suffer all the consequences caused by them. Instead, you will encourage your child to make choices about what they can do to improve the situation. You can give your child ideas - write a beautiful card, fix broken toys.
Children learn from us how to resolve conflicts. So we have to make sure our apology is sincere - not formal, and very important when a child has a discord. However, parents should teach their children how to understand the meaning of a sincere apology instead of saying it in a critically and gracious manner. From there, children can be more careful in thinking and words.
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