Parents should not compare their children with other children

Many parents often compare their children with friends or siblings and think that this is an effective method to help their children improve, but that is not the case.

Sometimes the purpose of comparing children with other children is to stimulate a spirit of competitiveness in children, pushing them to overcome their limits to achieve more success. However, no one is completely alike. You have talents, interests and the ability to develop in varying degrees. The comparison can disrupt your child's self-esteem and self-esteem.

Negative effects of comparing children

When comparing your child to another, you inadvertently create a negative impact on the child:

1. Pressure

A child will feel a psychological burden if constantly compared. Parents must not put pressure on babies to perform well, as it will make children worried and lose sleep. Sit back and talk to each other, find out why your child's performance is not so good and find effective solutions.

2. Reduce your self-esteem

As parents continually compare, children will begin to believe that others are better than themselves and that they themselves are not able to perform well or live up to adult expectations. This is a very dangerous feeling, adversely affecting the mental development of the child as well as the child's learning ability.

3. Reduce your self-worth 

No matter how much effort your child makes, but if you still do not feel satisfied and always want them to learn from others, it will be like breaking their confidence. Children will begin to think that if they do well, they will not get anything, from which their energy and will will be eroded.

4. Shame when communicating

If a child is always ridiculed or ridiculed by comparison, he will begin to avoid communicating with others, even parents.

5. Create a careless attitude 

If a child's talent or achievement is always ignored, then the baby won't even want to please his parents anymore because you are clearly supportive of others for more impressive results.

6. Reducing talent

If your child spends a lot of time drawing on charcoal, but you want him to practice badminton, this shows you are putting him in a dilemma. In addition, when a child's talent is not appreciated and praised by adults, but is seen as a child's play, the baby will lose confidence, leading to no room for that talent to develop and disappear.

7. Keep distance from parents 

The fact that children always hold negative attitudes against you when being compared shows that they feel dissatisfied with their parents. From there, the baby will create distance with the family. I also feel lonely and out of place. If this situation persists, negative emotions can adversely affect your child's personality development in the future.

8. Promote the competition of brothers and sisters

If you compare them to each other, instead of admiring better siblings, the child will begin to secretly cultivate a hostile thought. This leads to negative actions, inappropriate attitudes such as teasing, sarcasm, and even  fighting . Moreover, she accidentally thought that she was not as loved as the rest of her siblings. As a result, children will take themselves lightly.

9. Children only think about their own shortcomings

The more parents compare their children or work hard on the shortcomings of the baby, the more it proves that you are doubting the child's development speed and learning ability. No one is perfect and has shortcomings, but this will gradually overcome as the baby grows up.

Positive comparison methods

Set benchmarks instead of comparisons: Parents should appreciate every child's smallest effort. This will make your child feel more confident.

Encourage children to overcome their weaknesses: Children always want to be guided and helped by adults. Therefore, do not hesitate to tell your child what to do and how to do, provided that you use the most appropriate words and attitude.

Compliment the strengths: No matter what job your child does well, give him a lot of praise .

Don't create unrealistic expectations: If the little angel wants to be a writer in the future, you shouldn't force your child to be a doctor. Babies can be smart to meet parents' expectations but will lack the spirit of enthusiasm, which can be detrimental to children when participating in unwanted fields.

Always support and show unconditional love:  If your child is not doing well, do not make them feel that you have disappointed or embarrassed their parents. Please always support me. You can confide and encourage your child to practice more as well as praise and appreciate his efforts in front of everyone.

Sometimes you can't avoid comparing children to friends, but talk about it with an optimistic spirit and notice changes in baby's thinking and mood to adjust the conversation accordingly. physical.