What to do when children lie or steal?

Children lying and stealing are problems that cause many parents a headache. However, when children lie and steal, you should not get too angry, but calm down and find the best way to handle it. 

Parenting is a long journey for parents with many levels of emotions. In that journey, there is joy, there is sadness, and there are challenges. Lying and stealing in your child are two major challenges that you need to overcome. Why do children lie and have a stealing habit? How to teach children to give up this bad habit?

Children lie

Young children often find it difficult to control everything. Therefore, children often make mistakes. Denying one's misconduct is the most common lie among young children. For example, by carelessness, the child spoils her sister's doll. When asked, the child denied everything with an innocent face. Perhaps at this point, what makes you angry is not that the child spoiled the doll, but that the child lied. In addition, children have other types of lies .

If you want your children to admit their mistakes when they do something wrong, make things simple. For example, instead of shouting: “You spoiled this doll, didn't you? You are so spoiled ”. Say, “This doll is broken. Do you want to know what happened? ". If you say so, your child may say, “Yes, I spoiled it. I'm sorry mum". If your child admits to his fault, do not scare him with anger and the penalties. If you want your child to tell you the truth when he or she does something wrong, you are not allowed to be angry with them. When you get angry, your child will not confess their mistake to you next time.

Parents sometimes worry because their children don't seem interested in telling the truth. This may originate from you. They overhear you when you mention buying new clothes for your child but still don't see it, when you say you were sick yesterday but really didn't or when you told your child to treat your child to a big treat but they didn't go. Adults have many reasons to lie, and it is important that children understand it. Adults lie subtly, skillfully in the hope that they will not hurt others or save time. However, the children will hear. Unless you have a reason for these lies and explain them clearly to your child, they will think why you could lie while they can't.

If your child tells you a lot of stories in class and has “woven” of some elements that you are unsure of whether or not, then you should discuss with your child the "truth" and its meaning. Do not let your child fall into the situation of "naughty lies". Tell your child the story of the Shepherd Boy . After telling your child, discuss with your child and point out when you really need help from others. Talk to your child so he or she feels that you care more about the truth than the lie. Want to find out more ways to help your baby give up lying, you can refer to the article  How to effectively handle a child lie? and lesson  3 fun activities to teach your child not to lie .

Stealing

Young children, especially those without siblings, often want to own everything. Children always want to assert that the item is theirs. Ownership is a problem that is harder to explain than the truth. In the home, there are many items that people can share, some belong to one person, but others can borrow and use, and there are items that belong to one person only.

It's the same outside of family. Children may keep a small ball they find in the bushes in a park, but they are not allowed to put it in their pocket and take it home. Children can bring home their drawing but they cannot bring toys home from school. Children are allowed to pick up flyers from the grocery store but not to pick up the noodle packages. There is no way to teach children until they understand themselves. However, you cannot let the situation of children taking someone else's things home prolong even if the child is only 3 - 4 years old because if the person who is not sympathetic will call the child a steal.

You can set some rules for children such as not to bring other people's things home without permission, always ask adults when they want to keep something, not to take anything from the store. Unless allowed by the adult. Don't over-emphasize the value of money. When they take some money out of your wallet, ask yourself what they would say to them if they took a notebook and said the same with money. For example, you can ask, "What did you get my notebook for?", Likewise, you ask: "What did you use my money for?" when your child takes your money. For young children, both books and money are the same. Children know money is valuable because they hear you talk a lot about it and see you using it in exchange for good things like good food or nice toys. However, young children really do not have the concept of money.

Children who love to collect things they never use and other people's property that they don't want may be because they are in emotional trouble. This could be due to your child's lack of love or attention. Instead of getting angry and embarrassing your child, you can try to give what your child needs. If you can't and your child continues to steal, you should ask a psychologist for help before your child reaches school age.