The secret to help children no longer jealousy and envy

Jealousy is a very natural and normal emotional state in young children. However, if this personality is not detected and trained early, the child will easily fall into a state of crisis. More seriously, when growing up, children will become petty, selfish and can cause negative behaviors. 

Young children often show their feelings very clearly. Children may not hesitate to express their feelings of love, hate, sadness, jealousy, or other feelings. If you find that your baby has always been jealous of you or to everyone recently, then with aFamilyToday Health, continue with aFamilyToday Health to learn more about jealousy in children and tips to get over this easily.  

The cause of jealousy in children

Don't know why your kids are jealous of friends or siblings? Find out through the following reasons, you can find the reason: 

1. You have pampered your child too much

As a parent, it is normal for you to pamper and love your child and this helps to bond with the family. However, if you are pampered too much, you will feel like you are superior to others. Therefore, whenever children see someone better than themselves or possess something better, they will experience a feeling of jealousy and insecurity.

2. You are comparing children to other children

It is very natural for parents to compare their children to other children. This won't cause a lot of problems if you don't talk day after day. However, if you continually compare, you will cause children to develop a psychology of competition, self-esteem and jealousy with everyone.

3. You are too much care and protection for your child

Any parent loves, protects and cares for their children. However, sometimes too much care and protection will make children depend on their parents. From there, the child will develop a feeling of jealousy with the more confident children.

4. Unfair competition

According to experts, healthy competition can be very good for a child's development. However, forcing a child to win in all situations will have a negative impact on the child's character formation. Children will be more prone to aggression, be jealous of their friends, and will not take all tricks to achieve their goals. 

5. Excessive control or overbearing parenting

The fact that you always control or ask your child to obey rules without being clearly explained will make them more likely to develop feelings of resentment and jealousy. Children will feel that they always lose to their peers because they have to live in an environment that lacks freedom and injustice.

6. Jealous of achievement or talent

Each child has his or her own characteristics, personality, and potentialities. Some children will learn very well, while others will play very well in sports. This will make it easier for your child to feel jealous of a friend because he or she does better at school or plays sports better than me. 

7. Jealousy between siblings

Usually, older babies often feel jealous of their younger brother. The cause of this may be due to lack of care for your baby or because you are too focused on caring for your baby. 

Signs that your baby is jealous

Jealousy is common in young children and you will easily detect that your child is feeling this through some of the following symptoms:

1. Children want to own everything

Jealousy will always make children want to own everything, from things to people like parents, siblings and friends. Children will not want to share anything with anyone. This condition, if not intervened, will easily lead to depression .

2. Children always compare

Jealousy also makes children always compare their skills, achievements, things and other things with other children. If something is missing or absent, the child may express dissatisfaction and anger.

3. Children always make you angry

If your child feels jealous of their siblings, they will do their best to get your attention. The best way to get attention is to rebel and make you feel frustrated. Children can do anything to make you angry and the purpose of all of these is just to get you more attention.

4. Children have aggressive behavior

A child who is feeling jealous of a friend or sibling will often behave aggressively, be violent, or behave without permission. Children not only bully, fight, but even try to harm their siblings or friends.

5. The child feels unsafe

Children may feel unsafe. This becomes more pronounced when you have an additional baby. Children may be confused and always find ways to get your attention.

Jealousy can lead to a lot of negativity for personality development and development

Jealousy is a negative emotion and can negatively affect a child's personality:

Children can become aggressive

Children can become bullies

Children feel lonely and live far away from everyone

Children lack confidence

How can children not be jealous of siblings or friends?

Jealousy is not a good thing, so you should intervene promptly so that it doesn't affect your child's personality development:

1. Listen to your children

Jealousy is not a momentary emotion, but an overwhelming process. Therefore, you should spend more time talking with your child to listen to their concerns, fears and worries. This will help you understand the causes of your child's jealousy and have a timely response. 

2. Find ways to turn negative things into positives

Jealousy can cause children to develop negative thoughts and actions. Find ways to turn these things into the motivation for children to strive. For example, if your child's siblings or friends are performing better, encourage your child to work hard and get better grades instead of being jealous of other people's accomplishments.

3. Show love for your children

Young children may have poor behaviors or attitudes. However, you should not scold or punish the child too harshly. Instead, find ways to listen, share, and show your love. Remember that children are facing extremely uncomfortable emotions and they really need your attention.

4. Explain to your child the importance of sharing

This is very important for each child. The fact that a child learns to share his belongings with other children will make them less likely to envy others and make it easier to make friends.

5. Don't compare children with other kids

Comparing children to other children unintentionally creates negative emotions in young children. Therefore, do not compare the child with any child. Each child is unique and has different talents. Observing what areas the child is gifted with and finding ways to help the child develop would be better than comparing them with others.

6. Don't praise your child too much

Giving praise to children when they do a good job or have a high achievement is quite normal to motivate children to try. However, do not overdo this because giving too much praise can sometimes have negative effects. 

7. No comparison of academic results

You should not compare your child's academic performance with his or her brothers or sisters or friends. Doing so is very easy to create feelings of hostility and jealousy. If your child does not have good academic results, you should find out the cause and take a reasonable remedy. Also, encourage your child to work hard to improve their scores instead of comparing them to others.

Jealousy is very common in young children. However, if handled in a positive and appropriate way, children can overcome this with ease. However, if you are having trouble and don't know how to deal with your child's excessive jealousy, you can seek help from a psychologist.