How does the order of birth affect the childs personality?

According to the doctor and Austrian psychologist Alfred Adler, birth order will greatly affect a child's personality and IQ. Besides, there are other factors such as gender, socio-economic status, education level ... which also affect the baby a lot.

There is a whole science around the notions of birth order. Psychologist Alfred Adler was the first to come up with the "Theory of birth order". To get to know a person, he says, the most important thing is to put them in the context of interactions with others. From there, he concluded that a person's personality and behavior appeared from childhood and birth order is one of the factors influencing a child's personality. Please join aFamilyToday Health to follow the following shares to understand more about this issue.

What is the birth order?

Put simply, the birth order is the child's position in the family compared to the rest of the siblings. Which number of children in a family will affect parents' attitudes and how parents raise children.

How does birth order affect parenting?

Birth order and parenting are often closely related. For example, for the first child, parents still do not have much experience in raising children, so they are often raised in many different ways. In addition, parents are often worried and scared, so they will often become strict guardians and force their children to obey what they ask for.

However, with the second or third child, parents often tend to raise more comfortably due to the experience gained from raising the first child. More importantly, parents will not be too concerned with the little things because parents have to spend time taking care of more children.

The order of birth and personality of the child

1. First child

According to Adler, the first child tends to be conservative, capable of direction, responsible, and a leader. Because they are the oldest siblings in the family, children often have to take responsibility for their children, take care of them, take care of them on behalf of their parents. Therefore, children will be proactive in all situations and often have a very high sense of responsibility.

The first child is often very hardworking and always wants to please his parents or his teachers. If the parent is too strict and requires too much, the child will try and try harder. "Perfectionism" is one of the first child traits. According to research, the first child is also susceptible to psychological disorders such as anxiety, depression , stress ... In addition, children are also prone to feelings of jealousy and insecurity when their parents do not pay much attention to and take care of the other children in the family.

2. Middle child

Babies born second are usually very sociable and equal. Because children do not have as many responsibilities as their brothers / sisters and do not need as much care as they do, they sometimes become very adaptable. Not only that, children will have very good communication skills and be able to connect people together. Therefore, children often prefer to live with friends rather than with parents because parents often pay attention to their first or youngest child. In addition, the middle child is usually very friendly, can work in a team very well and always supports and helps people.

On the other hand, children born after siblings are also more likely to lose confidence and have less self-esteem than their brothers and sisters because sometimes they will feel like they are superfluous and invisible. However, the theory of birth order and character development is often difficult to apply to the middle child because the number of middle children is often large. Therefore, defining personality traits is often very difficult.

3. The youngest child

The youngest is a child who receives a lot of care from both parents and siblings. Besides, parenting to the youngest child is often very comfortable and allows them to explore more. Therefore, the youngest children are often reckless and very creative children. Children are often gifted with sports, music or the arts. A child's main motivation is to do better in order to surpass their siblings.

However, the youngest child tends to be irresponsible and depends heavily on his parents and siblings. This can make it easier for children to quit their jobs as adults.

4. Only child

The child is the one usually very confident because children get all the love of parents. Most children just like to be alone because there is no one to talk to and play with.

In addition, since being an only child, the child has no one to compete with. As an only child, the child is too loved, cherished and protected by the whole family. Therefore, selfishness, dependence, and "self-be-the-navel of the universe" are common traits in only children. As an adult, children will have more difficulty in teamwork than children with siblings.

The exceptions

Here are a few exceptions to how birth order affects a child's personality:

1. "Mixed" family

A mixed family is a family made up of parents who have divorced and remarried with others. At this point, the child must share a parent's love with the step-mother or step-dad's children. The child may no longer be the eldest because an older child has taken the place or the child is no longer the one who gets the most attention because a younger child needs their parents' attention. However, if the child is more than 5 years old, the child's personality will not change even when he is in a new family.

2. Family with twins or triplets

For twins, there appears to be no birth order. Whether born before or after, children are still treated equally and fairly by their parents.

3. The age gap between children is too large

If the child and the siblings are too many years apart (at least 5 - 6 years) then this theory will not be appropriate. A 5-year-old with a 12-year-old sibling and a 1-year-old has the ability to resemble that of the first instead of the middle.

4. Adoption

The case of adoption is the same as above. If the child is adopted while the family has 2 older children, of course the child will become the youngest in the family. However, if the child is over 6 years old, the personality traits will remain as they were in the beginning.

Who influences a child's personality the most?

According to research, the people who influence a child's personality the most are parents, siblings, and friends. Many experts believe that brothers and sisters are the most influential, while others believe that friends are the most influential. However, all studies agree that parents have an important place in the development of children.

Can a child's personality change?

The child's personality can completely change, not necessarily tied to the birth order. You can improve your child's personality through the following steps:

• Understand

You need to understand the child's position and role in the family. Once you understand these characteristics, you will have a better way to support your child.

• Know

You need to be aware of emotional disturbances and their origins. Determine the child's mood, fluctuations he might experience such as the middle child can often feel frustrated at being unloved while the youngest child often feels angry at being treated like a child. young.

• Decision

This is the time to take action. Tell your oldest child that you love them no matter who they are and that you don't need to work hard for something. With the middle child, show your love. Finally, with your youngest child, let them take on some responsibility or work so that they are less dependent on you and others around them.

Does the birth order affect the IQ of the child?

This has been a controversial issue in recent years. Some studies show that birth order and IQ are related while others show that intelligence is influenced by genetics, social factors, and instruction. of parents.

A large study conducted in Germany has shown that those with the highest IQ are children who have no siblings and are the firstborn, and that the IQ of siblings is similar. In addition, they found no correlation between birth order and creativity, emotional maturity or talent.

Besides birth order, what factors influence a child's personality as well?

There are many factors that can determine a child's personality, such as:

• Gender

This is one of the most important factors that determine a person's personality. For example, if a family has a first-born boy and a second-born girl, then of course the girl doesn't need to work too hard to get the parents' attention because gender gives her the be distinct and have a tendency to have first-born traits. Furthermore, if parents prefer boys to girls or vice versa, birth order theory doesn't matter much.

• Age gap

The age gap plays a big role in the development of a child's personality. If siblings are close to the age and the same sex, they will be more likely to compete with each other. The ideal distance to avoid this is that the two kids should be about 5 years apart so they can create their own space. This is often not true of twins, but for the most part, twins tend to have less competition than a couple years apart.

• Body shape

Bullying is quite common in many families with large numbers of children. The first children are usually older so they tend to bully younger children. However, this situation is reversible if the younger children are healthier than their siblings.

• Talent

All children are special, but if a child has a natural talent for something, such as sport, music, or study, parents are often more concerned with these children. These children will receive all the love and attention they desire, but this can cause other siblings to become upset and resentful.

Although birth order does influence the child's personality, it is important to remember that caring, affection and equality among children will play a more important role in character formation.