Did you know its good for both you and for you not to scold your kids?

Children are the lives of parents. However, children are not always obedient and obedient. At times, they become irritable and disturbing, making you angry and angry. So there are times when you choose to scold or spank if your child disagrees. Did you know that scolding your children can affect your child's development?

In real life, parents are role models for children to follow. If parents constantly scream or hit their children, children will learn to follow and apply as they grow up. Let's learn how to teach children the right way with aFamilyToday Health!

Learn how the Inuit teaches children

National Public Radio has published a newsletter titled "How Inuit people teach their children to curb their anger". The piece tells the story of Jean Briggs, an anthropologist who spent 30 years with the Inuit tribe.

According to Briggs, the families she lives with have never been angry with her, although she has certainly made them angry many times. They also never get angry with their children. Instead of getting angry, they try to stay calm and avoid being irritable or showing disappointment in front of their children. Because according to them, children are still very carefree and immature.

"They also teach their children how to control their own anger," she added.

Master how to teach children effectively

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) is very supportive of the Inuit parenting approach.

"I think what the Inuit is doing is all that," said Robert Sege, AAP spokesperson and a pediatrician at Tufts Medical Center's Children's Hospital in Boston. which I and other pediatricians have been advocating for a long time ”.

Inuit's parenting practices are very positive, Sege says . Instead of yelling at children when they don't do something, they explain to them what they want them to do.

"That was great," he added. The only downside to this approach, I think, is that it is quite time consuming. Actually I'm not sure if this is a weakness or not unless the children are directly affected ".

For a long time, AAP has always believed that spanking will adversely affect the development of young children. What about screaming?

There is also talk about screaming under the AAP publications about effective ways to educate children. Accordingly, the AAP stated that: "All methods of discipline, including corporal punishment, scolding or humiliating young children, have only immediate effects, not lasting benefits". Then, they also cite some research to support their point.

"We should not let fear and pain mix in the most cherished relationship between parents and children," added Robert Sege.

How to properly educate my child?

According to Dr. Sege, the right way to educate children is the same way that Inuit families are doing. Identify correct behaviors, talk to your children when they reach the right age, continue to share with your child, and use storytelling to guide them in what you want them to do (or want them to avoid far).

1. Teach children how to control their emotions

Dr. Nancy Molitor, associate professor of Clinical Psychology and Behavioral Science at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine (USA), agrees that this model is well-suited for application in parenting. the.

Dr. Nancy added: “When we are born, we don't understand much about emotions. We are programmed to perceive these feelings, but cannot name and process them appropriately. ”

This female doctor said that parents play an extremely important role in teaching children how to express emotions, both positive and negative emotions. “Parents need to understand that their child is observing and learning how they handle their emotions,” she added. From there, they will find their own way to express their own feelings ”.

In that sense, the way Inuit people get rid of their anger has a lot of meaning. However, is it always good to control your inner emotions? Can children learn something from seeing their parents get angry?

Molitor believes that it is beneficial for children to see their parents angry. However, this is only beneficial when parents are willing to admit they've lost their temper and talk to their children about how they can control their temper.

The reality is that most people lose their temper under certain circumstances, but in the end, such a backlash is not the right thing to do.

This female doctor also said that she does not encourage parents to do it intentionally or see it as a lesson for their children to learn and forget about themselves.

2. Tell oriented stories

Another effective method that Inuit parents have adopted, according to National Public Radio, is to come up with creative, sometimes frightening stories that dominate children's behavior.

For example, to keep children out of the water, they might tell them a story about a sea monster lurking in a deep pool, waiting to eat the kids if they come too close.

If you're concerned about the ethics of making up these absurd stories, Robert Sege suggests that many parents use this method to change their children's attitudes without causing any negative effects. .

Talking about the evil details of the Grimms fairy tale, he said: “I think this has a long tradition. My thoughts are not quite the same, but I don't think it's harmful. I say that because there have been so many different cultures that have adopted this approach for a long time ”.

However, Molitor is much more confused about this teaching style of parents. Her grandmother once told a story about monsters lying in the pantry to catch those who dared to eat clumsily. This story made her dare not touch the pantry.

She added: “I used to be very scared and dominated by stories like that. They really work. I never dared to go near the pantry. But it also makes me have nightmares and often feel scared when walking around the house at night. Even now, I still feel scared when I am alone or when it gets dark.

Telling children such stories can have some unwanted side effects, especially in children with sensitive personalities.

However, Molitor admits that most of us have been told stories like that and now, we tell our children. However, the fairy tales we tell often carry their own moral messages. Therefore, depending on how the parents apply them, these stories can be a useful tool for parents to shape the behavior of their children.

Raising children in the Inuit way is quite time consuming, but according to Dr. Sege, this is a way of raising children that is both effective and healthy. The Inuit do not scold their children, but instead chat and tell them stories to guide their behavior. This is a quite unique way of teaching children, parents should learn from.