7 ways to help you raise your husband or wifes stepchildren

Currently, divorce is on the rise. Therefore, it is also common to marry someone who has a child. If you get married with someone who already has a child, it is not easy to raise a husband or wife's stepchildren. However, there are still ways to make this difficult task simpler and more enjoyable.

“Several generations of castings with bones. My stepmother loves her husband's children for many generations. Until now, the relationship between a husband's stepchild and a stepmother's stepchild and stepchild's relationship with step-father was often conflicting and difficult to reconcile. However, if you are determined to build a family with someone who already has a child, it is essential to create a positive relationship with family members, especially with step-children. Here are a few suggestions from aFamilyToday Health to help you get along well and raise your husband's own children.

1. Make a first impression on your husband's stepchild

To avoid pressuring the first meeting, you should proactively say hello to the child, avoid prolonging dinner time and give expensive gifts. Don't set too much expectations for this first meeting. Anything that puts pressure on your child can keep them away from you. Everything needs a process. Therefore, you should not be in a hurry to let your child get used to this relationship slowly. When your child agrees to accept it, he or she will show signs to help you realize that.

2. Let time heal all wounds

If you are about to enter a marriage with a divorced person, give your husband or wife some time and space. The fact that a parent remarries to another person means that the child's hope for the reunited family will dissipate. Therefore, children will have feelings of grief, irritability and anger. This grief can cause the child to take actions that delay the parent's new marriage.

If a child's parent dies, you can help your child recall memories of his / her parent by telling him / her stories, looking at pictures of the parent, or organizing significant activities. Remember on the birthday of the deceased parent.

3. Treat your child like your own

If your child is still going back and forth with their parent, you probably won't need to look after them for a week. However, you should not treat your children as special guests as this will make them feel like they don't belong to the family. Instead, you can ask your child to help with housework, check on classwork and attend parent conferences. Listen to, respect their ideas and praise them when needed.

You should not impose your point of view but ignore the child's thinking. Children also have their own feelings and opinions. Although you may not always agree with them, you should at least listen to their aspirations. This will help your child feel closer to you.

4. Don't let your child feel out of place

Of course, you and your wife need some private time, but don't let your child feel left out when you are having new activities without your child's participation. During field trips, visiting relatives or visiting places the child has never been to, you should bring your child with you if possible. Also, be fair to the child. If children see inequality, they will respond immediately. Spend time talking with step children and natural children alike. This will help your child feel more secure.

You should also not be too "clingy" to the child's father, but give the father and child space to talk to each other. In general, it is important that you and your wife spend a lot of time playing with your children so they don't find themselves out of place in their own family.

5. Build a lasting friendship

Do not spend time comparing and calculating whether you do not know whether you treat your husband or wife's stepchild so well or not and when will they love them. At first, there won't be any feelings between you and your stepchild, but you keep raising and treating your baby like your own, at least for the first few years.

Patiently build relationships with your husband's stepchild or stepchild. This is the number one secret to success. Try to be friends with children and act lovingly. In addition, you also do not force your child to call you a parent immediately, but let your child call you the way he or she wants.

6. Build trust and honesty

Trust is an important element in any relationship and it takes time to build. Being sensitive and being nice to your husband's stepchild or his stepchildren is a way to build trust with your children . In the early stages, no attempt should be made to replace the biological parent of the child. Over time, your child will observe how you behave in all situations. Are you actively listening or not? Do you respect the privacy of others? Are you taking advantage of children? Young children are very sensitive to dishonest and insincere people. If you win the child's trust, they will come to you as a friend to share everything.

7. Share interests with each other

Observe what they like or spend a lot of time on. Sometimes children will be curious about your activities, ask them to join you. The relationship between stepchild and stepmother and stepfather needs to be cultivated on a regular basis and both sides play an important role in maintaining this relationship.

Parenting is one of the biggest challenges in family life. However, everything has its price. If you know your efforts and efforts, you will bring valuable rewards.