Teaching good children: The art of saying no to children

"No" is a short, concise word, but not all parents know how to apply it properly, especially to deny some unreasonable requests from children. The following article will show you what to do and should avoid in the way of rejecting the sometimes somewhat "frivolous" demands of children.

Explanation before Rejecting
Children with immaturity won't be able to understand why they shouldn't do one, and why they should avoid the other. If possible, you should gently explain to your child before resorting to parental veto. For example, if your baby asks for candy before going to bed, you should slowly explain that “If you eat candy at night without brushing your teeth, you will get cavities.

If you have tooth decay, the tooth will ache or worse, your child will not have teeth to continue eating candy during the day. One thing to note is that you should explain properly, not misinterpret because your baby will know and will no longer believe in your words later. At that time, you will have difficulty in shaping your baby to follow his words.

Listen to your child's arguments
When you have said “No” but still insists on doing what he wants, ask him to explain and convince you why he wants to do it. In order to do this, you need to respect your children without imposing so-called parental rights towards them very early on. Specifically, in addition to forbidding your child, you should include the reasons and arguments to let them know that is not true and encourage them to present their own arguments later.

This is not at all "drawing the way for retirement" - teaching your children to be with parents that you are directing your children to be reasonable, reasonable and able to persuade others to accept. their requirements. This is a very useful skill for your child's life and work in the future.

Play with me and help me figure out what to avoid and what to do, mom!

Parents must be consistent
In terms of mentality and expression, a father is usually a strict person and a mother will be gentle. In some families this manifestation may be in the opposite direction. However, whether a parent plays a strict or gentle role, every time a child is stubborn and fussy, both should agree on the attitude towards the child.

If the child's demands are too much, both parents need to show the sternness; Should not the father is threatening and the mother protects and protects the child. Children will easily recognize who they can compromise and this explains why some parents often complain, "Why my children are getting more and more difficult to tell."

Agreements with children
Children are mostly "new and old" to toys, comics, clothes, ... and very often ask their parents to buy more even though toys or storybooks at home already exist. a lot of. If your kids are no exception, you need to adopt a tactic of agreement and clarification with them about what you will buy and not buy for them. Absolutely avoid making promises to buy them for your children to overcome because they will often never forget those promises. For example, you need to take your baby to a store to buy a birthday gift for his friend.

You should do “thinking” with your child first like, “We will go to the toy store to buy stuff for you Ti. Since this is Ti's birthday present, we only bought it for Ti. If you want, when it's your birthday, I will go buy a present with you just like your friend Ti's this time. ” Besides, you also need to keep your promise to bring your baby to buy birthday gifts if the baby's birthday is coming.

Putting the child's name into "No"
One seemingly small thing that many parents cannot fully anticipate the great impact is to put the child's name after the word "no". Instead of bluntly and coldly saying "no" every time your child makes a mistake or loves a book, you can gently but firmly firmly "No, Bin!" when Bin asked to play knife or "Shouldn't Na!" when Na wanted to climb up the window.

Psychologists have found that when commands or exclamations include an individual's name, that individual tends to be much more strongly influenced by commands or love. lack of deterrence and lack of objects.

Take a step back, take 3 steps
Anyone will feel a little hurt when rejected and children with limited knowledge will most likely fuss if their demands are violently denied. Instead, why don't you "take a step back" to join your child to "take three steps" skillfully rejecting the child's request.

For example, if your child insists on playing scissors, you can play with them and then point to them that scissors are a dangerous object like “Come on, we both took scissors to cut these pieces of paper together… Oh , I saw this scissors with a pointy tip that bleed so easily ... I knew I could tear paper with a ruler too. Let me show it to you… Okay hey, now it's your turn to tear the paper up with that ruler. ” In this way, the child is still absorbed in the game and forgets about the scissors they originally required.

Denial is always an art. And also teaching good children. After this article, hopefully you have more sophistication in the art of child rejection - subjects that have not yet fully understood the dangers and irrationalities of their claims.