Children's confidence is an essential element for future success. But that confidence will be killed if the parents do not stop comparing.
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What do good mothers say about comparing children
Stop comparing with "people's children"
Comparing children is a common mistake for parents. It could be unintentional or intentional. The comparison begins when the baby is still in the womb, continues until adulthood. This unintentionally affects a child's confidence and tarnishes a successful future in the future.
When pregnant, mothers can compare their weight, give birth to their height, they also eat and teething, and the time to crawl. A little bigger is the ability to learn. Many mothers do not stop talking badly about their children, comparing in a negative way, this has killed the innocence and self-confidence of the child, but instead is jealous and jealous.
The comparison is not always useful and useful
Parents tend to compare their children to each other, be it neighborhood peers or classmates. But also parents rarely put themselves in the fruit of their children but understand the facts and their feelings. The general invisible creates the imposition of personal thoughts, which are taboo in the way of teaching children.
As modern mothers, parenting reading is quite familiar. Each book, every information from the press has a certain influence on each mother's opinion. The issue of comparing children has always been mentioned in the famous mother's way of teaching children.
MarryBaby shares the views of two mothers: Mother Tran My Linh, who successfully raised 3 children to the prestigious University of Stanfors, USA and mother Ho Thi Hai Hau, mother of "golden" girl La Ho Minh Khue - One of the rare students to win a full scholarship to the world's No. 1 Harvard University.
Among my 10 points of teaching children, not comparing my children to their children is the first factor that Tran My Linh's mother shared: “If you compare too much, you will lose confidence, you will not dare to express potential exposure in front of parents. If parents underestimate their child's capacity, they might go and fight with their children ”.
The author Ho Thi Hai Au - Minh Khue's daughter and the title of the book have "caused storms"
With the same point of view, the author of the book "Vietnamese Mother teaches children to walk the world" Ho Thi Hai Au said that comparing children from a young age invisibly pushes them into loneliness. Friends will get jealous just because your parents always take their kids for example. It does not help your child improve and just shrink.
Height and weight are specific numbers that mothers can compare, but ethics and talents are things that can never be measured. Each child is an independent individual, the child's personality is mainly influenced by the family's educational environment. So, parents should never compare their children with each other.
Ms. Phan Ho Diep, the mother of "prodigy" Do Nhat Nam, said that instead of comparing children with other children, parents should ask critical questions for their children, helping them confidently speak their own thoughts and opinions. . It may not be the same opinion with the majority, but as long as it is not contrary to the fine traditions and customs, it is worth listening to.
It is important to change your attitude when your child has a bad grade, failed an exam or encountered a certain setback in life. Parents should never blame or take actions that add pressure to their children and vice versa, parents should not just stop telling their children to try hard the next time. You can encourage your children like: "You are also not grounded because one time of failure that everything is over" or "I think you will definitely do better" ...
Teach your children to be good without the whip The most effective way to teach children is to treat them the way you want them to treat everyone: with tolerance and understanding. Sometimes, mischief is just the way a baby expresses that he wants to do something impressive in his own way, and the adult doesn't understand ...
Comparing, blaming is not equal to encouragement. Parents like to compare one person to another, and their children will also learn. Teach children to love themselves with more positive thoughts than mothers!
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